My mother says funny stuff

My mother says really funny stuff sometimes.  She doesn't even know it's funny, but I always laugh really hard and then she says "oh great, now you are going to go telling your friends how crazy I am."  Now that I have this blog, she is right.  Today we were talking and below are three kinda funny stories that came out of it: 

My mom just had to go to a funeral and as pretty as the service was, she was annoyed that all of the songs were so high in octave.  She said that "it's already hard enough to sing when you are choked up, you shouldn't have to be Aretha Franklin in order to do so."  So she has decided that she is only having low octave songs at her funeral so people don't have to be embarassed by their singing voices while at her service. 

I don't know why, but for some reason we have had a black santa claus statue that we have had for years and years.  Nobody really knows where it came from, but it's a really pretty Christmas ornament type of thing, so each year it goes on the mantle at my mom's house.  Today my mom said that she feels really proud of her black santa because she felt like she was putting it out for Obama.  

Next we get into a discussion about Christmas and Hanukkah.  First she states that since Jesus was most likely Jewish we should probably celebrate both.  Then she asks me what the "candleabrah thingy" is that Jewish people light for Hanukkah.  I say "it's called a Menorah."  To which she responds, "I don't think it's called that....isn't that what you get when you mix Orange Juice and Champagne??"

Moral of the story, my mom cracks me up.